It’s where it all begins. That stage right after it happens. You fight tooth and nail with yourself, your own mind, your own consciousness, to stuff it in. To stuff it all in. Into a drawer somewhere in the back of your head. Thinking. I’ll … Continue reading Denial
It creeps up on me every night.
As I squeeze my eyes shut against the darkness.
I tense at the sensation.
At the shadow right in front of my face.
I can see it.
It wouldn’t let me move.
Wouldn’t let me sleep.
Wouldn’t let me breathe.
I disappear under the bedsheets.
Cocooning myself into a ball inside.
There’s nothing there, I know.
Yet I feel it breathing against my neck.
I hear myself scream inside my head.
Trying to drive it away.
But I can feel the chills start to run down my spine.
And I know I’ll lie awake.
In this same way.
And even when I lapse into unconsciousness.
From the sheer exhaustion of my fright.
I know I’ll start awake again.
Unable to breathe.
Unable to see.
Apart from the dreadful shadow.
Right in front of me.
~A Haunted Girl~
Because I’m not sure if I do yet.
And I guess… I shouldn’t.
Maybe that’ll make it easier to stare into the darkness at night.
Or make me jump less when I hear voices out of nowhere.
Maybe it’ll make the sense of someone breathing down my neck go away.
Maybe it’ll make all the paranoia flee.
Or maybe I’ll just float away on a cloud of oblivion, denying, as I always have, what I have to face one day.
I’m not asking you to believe in the supernatural.
Or to rescue me from my own head.
My head is probably raving mad anyway.
I’m not asking you to pity me my insanity.
Or to tell me to be strong.
All I want is to get my story out there.
So all I want is for you to listen.
Because I don’t know what I saw.
But one thing is clear.
I ain’t gonna shove my fears into the drawer anymore.
~A Haunted Girl~